The Dinner Time Dilemma
Ladies, if you’ve ever sat alone at the dinner table while the man in your life is under his car, you know what I’m taking about. Gentlemen, if you’ve ever gotten home waaaayyyy past suppertime to an unhappy wife and cold food on the stove (or been informed that the dog ate your dinner) you know what I’m talking about. It’s the old dinnertime dilemma.
Pick a day, any day, the story will be much the same. For the purpose of demonstration, let’s go with a Friday.
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12:00 noon
Wife:
Runs to the store over lunch to pick up a few groceries for the dinner so she can get home right after work. At the register, she’s sorted her perishables so she can stash them in the office fridge until going home. She eats her deli sandwich on the way back to work. 1:05 she’s back at her desk balancing the company checkbook.
Husband:
Makes a mad dash to the auto parts store for the 5th time this week. He has to pick up those “last few things” he needs to fire the new motor he’s installing in his beloved hotrod. He talks to several of his buddies there doing about the same thing…preparing for a whole weekend ahead of them to spend some quality time with their beloved hotrods. He lovingly stashes his 2 boxes of goodies in the front of his truck. (Ever wonder why parts stores send their merchandise home in boxes instead of bags? It’s so the men have somewhere to put the trash that has overflowed from the garage trash can. You know just what I’m talking about.) At 1:05 he’s back at work standing in front of the snack machine getting a bag of chips to go with his Mountain Dew. Hey chips are made from potatoes and that’s a vegetable right? He inhales the above items on his way back to his desk/workstation.
2:00 pm
Wife:
Checkbook is balanced and paperwork filed. She’s negotiating with the insurance company for more coverage and better rates.
Husband :
Looks at his watch wondering if the day is ever going to end. There are some hot parts sitting in his truck just waiting to be introduced to his beloved hot rod. He was just too busy for lunch so he goes back to the snack machine for a bag of corn chips and a Snickers, corn is a vegetable and nuts are healthy these days, right?
4:00 pm
Wife: Insurance meeting is over. Notes have been reviewed. Quotes are forthcoming. Invoices are all entered and filed. The deposits have been made. She’s working on the agenda for a meeting she has on Wednesday morning.
Husband: Looks at his watch. Thinks he needs a new watch battery, his watch must have stopped an hour ago.
5:05 pm
Wife:
Work week is finished and her workspace/desk is ready for Monday morning. Gathers her groceries from the fridge and heads home.
Husband:
It’s the weekend! He’s 2 miles closer to home. Hand outstretched so the box of parts on the seat doesn’t slide off. Stops off to pick up a couple cases of beer, after all there is sure to be a crowd of guys around when he fires that engine later tonight.
6:30 pm
Wife:
Dinner is ready, just as it is any other day. She knows he’s in the garage/shop/ his buddy’s place (where ever it is that “man land” is located). She’ll give him a few more minutes before going out to the garage.
Husband:
The new parts are scattered about on the floor (the workbench is full of tools he’ll be using). The once empty box from the parts store sits next to the overflowing trash can. It now holds an empty Mountain Dew bottle (grabbed at the machine when leaving work), an empty beer can and a wadded up, just emptied, potato chip bag that was left from last nights convenience store stop on the late run to the parts store.
6:45 pm
Wife:
Pokes her head in the garage to see if he’s coming in for dinner. (After all, man land is off limits to women right?) She goes back in the house and starts another load of laundry
Husband:
“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”
7:00 pm
Wife:
Calls hubby’s cell, “dinner is getting cold are you coming in to eat”?
Husband:
“Yeah, give me two minutes, I just have to ……”
7:15 pm
Wife:
Puts her plate of food in the microwave to reheat.
Husband:
Wow, that part went on fast, I’ll just do this piece real quick.
8:00 pm
Wife:
The dinner mess has been cleared, the dishwasher is running, as is the washer and dryer. Hubby’s dinner sits on a plate on the counter.
Husband:
He’s been joined by a couple of buddies and the engine install is getting into full swing.
Fast forward to 2:30 am
Wife:
Laundry is finished, nails are painted and three chapters of her book have been read. She has been sleeping peacefully for four and a half hours.
Husband:
Comes in the house hungry and wonders what’s for supper. He hated to quit for the evening, that engine will be ready to fire after he runs to the parts store for a couple more things. He thinks it would be handy if auto parts stores were open 24 hours like convenience stores. Oh well, tomorrow is Saturday and he’ll have the whole day to spend with his beloved hotrod.
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So ladies, if this happens to you, grab a glass of wine to go with that dinner, sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet because once that engine fires, your windows will be rattling.
And gentlemen, when you come home to no food and the dog has fried chicken breath, hug your wife, tell her she’s the best (and mean it) and fix yourself a peanut butter sandwich. ( Tomorrow it might not hurt to stop past the flower shop on your way home from the parts store……)
Written by,
Sharon Voelkel